I refrained from posting yesterday due to a nasty allergy attack. As it is springtime in the high desert, there is A LOT of nice pollen floating around, and guess what? I floats right up my nose and into my sinuses, wreaking havoc along the way. Normally, I take Zyrtec from about March until October, but as I am but a poor girl, I am surviving on Benadryl twice a day to quell the sneezies and watery, itchy eyes. Holy cow, my eyes on a bad allergy day resemble that big, red, flamey eye in the "Lord of the Rings" movies. All the Visine in the world could not make that eye less red!
Anyway, since I was fighting off the effects of excessive pollen, I spent a good portion of the day sleeping (hello, Benadryl!). I finally woke up shortly after my niece and nephew arrived. By this point in time, my nephew was sacked out on the floor next to the rocking chair, and my niece was in the process of cuddling from Grandma. Naturally, I stole her since she was wide awake and bugging her eyes out at me. Then I got cuddle time! I figured that I was safe in having contact with my niece and nephew as I was not at all contagious (but miserable nonetheless).
Today, I feel well enough to get outside and enjoy the warm weather while it lasts. I swear, Idaho's weather is like a PMS-ing female: it can go from zero to bitch in 2.5 seconds. It's very unpredictable. One minute, it could be sunshiny and warm (like today), and in 5 minutes, it could be snowing. Well, I look at it this way: Idaho's weather keeps things interesting. Anyway, I fully intend to soak up some much-needed rays (I'm so pale right now that I make mayonnaise mad) and absorb me some D (as in vitamin D).
I so need to drop some serious weight before summer is here or I will NOT have any clothes that fit me. It's all very depressing; I have a tendency to eat my feelings, usually in the form of chocolate. Once in a while, it's okay, but every day and in large amounts is NOT cool, though I did it anyway. Chocolate made me feel better, though I did have "eater's remorse" afterwards. Why can't I be one of those people that exercises when they're stressed? I love to walk, but hate to run. I have big boobs and therefore am not at all aerodynamically built for running. I like Pilates, but I will only do it in the privacy of my home because I have issues with exercising in front of people. One, I look ridiculous, like a bowl of Jello in an earthquake. Two, I get jealous of people who aren't totally dying at the end of a Pilates class. Here I am, soaked with sweat and looking oh-so-nasty, and there are these totally thin Barbie-doll people who look awesome. Puh. Anyway, I need to get a new Pilates DVD so I can exercise at home without anyone (other than Mom, and she'd ignore me) watching. I used to have an awesome Pilates DVD by Denise Austin. Okay, her eyes and smile were really creepy (tell me, who the heck SMILES when they're exercising?????), but it was a most effective regimen. I have no clue where that DVD is now, but next time I have money, I will have to pick a similar one up.
Another form of exercise I can actually tolerate is yoga. I actually still do some yoga from time to time, usually when I am REALLY anxious, as it relaxes me. I do have a hilarious yoga story to share, just to keep things real. I took yoga as a "decompression" class while in college. This class was scheduled at the end of the day, so it was perfect timing. Anyway, I was able to do most of the poses with little or no difficulty, though some of them were more challenging than others due to my lack of bendiness. One day, we used chairs in our routine. What we were supposed to do was put our legs up on the chair, lift our butts off the floor, and hold that pose. For a flat-chested individual, this pose would be easy, but for a boobalicious gal like me, it was nearly lethal. My abdominal fat literally pushed my boobs upwards and into my face. Seriously, if I looked down, which was physically impossible in this position, there would be boobs in my eyes. All my fat and boobage rolled up into my face and I could not breathe. Mind you, it might have been a tad easier to breathe had I not been laughing so hard, but gosh, the whole situation was downright hilarious! I have never shared this story with anyone outside my family until now, but I figured it was okay to share it with the public now. Anyway, my instructor couldn't figure out why I was being unpeaceful and laughing my head off until she actually SAW my predicament. She encouraged me to abort my efforts of holding this pose for safety reasons.
Another funny experience in yoga class was when we all were up against the wall and trying to gracefully get ourselves standing on our heads. Bear in mind, not only am I chubby, but I also have freakishly short limbs, so doing this was impossible. I looked around the room and everyone had successfully accomplished the headstand, and here I was, trying to flip myself into the proper position, looking like a spastic fish or a turtle on its back the whole time. Finally, I thought, "Ah, screw it. This ain't happening" , and just gave up. Again. All due to excess chub and my T-Rex arms.
Now that I have hopefully made your day better by sharing funny (yet mildly humiliating) stories of my sad attempts at exercise, I shall end this post by leaving you with a thought: you have to have a sense of humor in order to deal with a lot of life's little obstacles. Otherwise, you go crazy, and let me tell you from experience, that is NOT fun.
Have a great weekend, and more on Monday...........
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